How I Royally Failed My First Business
This is the story of my failed business. Yep. I failed at a business. It has taken me a long time and a lot of therapy to get to a point where I can say those words. Let’s go back a little bit though. I was a little girl who was born to be an entrepreneur. My sisters, cousins and I would put on a show and charge for admission. I would make crafts and sell them to the neighbors. I wanted to do a lemonade stand so badly that I pleaded with my dad until he physically built me one out of wood that I could roll it down to the end of our block. I have had side businesses for as long as I can remember. In high school I detailed cars. In college I sewed pillows and knitted hats. After I graduated from college, I got married and while we were on our honeymoon I had an idea for my next side business. I wanted a full time job at a marketing firm and on the side I wanted to create a subscription box company that had everything you needed to host a dinner party. I thought about it every day for weeks after we got home from our honeymoon. I looked and looked and looked and never found that marketing job. So I decided it was time to go for it and start the business.
I called this business The Gathering Table.
I studied everything I could about business and subscription boxes. I hired someone to design the logo for me. I spent hours upon hours watching webinars. I asked my dad for a loan. You see, during this time we didn’t really have a ton of money. I look back now and I am like, oh my gosh, how did we make it?! Luke was making a little bit of money working for a church plant and I was making a little bit of money doing photography. So a $2000 loan from my dad it was.
I had no idea what I was doing but I thought the first thing I needed to do was make it legal. I spent hours figuring out how to set up an LLC. I got my EIN number and then went to the bank and set up a bank account. I took that money and bought supplies for the first season of my subscription box. I talked to so many people and read so many articles it felt like the best thing to do was buy supplies for 100 boxes. I was sure that I was going to sell out of those and have at least 100 subscribers for my next box.
I worked tirelessly designing the invitations, putting together a recipe, and brainstorming table topic questions. It was all I did for months. I studied business and worked really hard. I ate, slept and breathed The Gathering Table. People told me over and over I was going to be successful. I had friends say that I was going to make so much money that Luke wouldn’t have to support raise his salary anymore. I had all the feelings, all the excitement, and all the nervousness. I was so sure this was going to be amazing. I mean who doesn’t want to have a box filled with everything you need to have a dinner party?!
On March 25, 2017, I launched The Gathering Table. I was nervous but confident. I was going to sell out of 100 boxes remember?
Well…. Not so much.
On that first day, I sold 3.
THREE BOXES!
I have never dealt with so much shame and anxiety before. I was embarrassed. This was supposed to work! I was going to have a successful business! I played it off like it was fine. I could still sell boxes. I was even featured on the news during this time, but I felt like I was living a lie.
The Gathering Table flopping was really hard on me. I started seeing a counselor for my anxiety and shame. It took a long time for me to be able to talk about it or even admit it wasn’t working. After trying to launch one more box for the summer, I decided to call it quits. I emailed my five subscribers at this time and told them I was ending the subscription box. I honestly felt deep relief after sending that email. I was still dealing with the shame and anxiety, but I was able to start to close that chapter. I started to pour everything into my photography business and realized how much I enjoyed it. The reason I am writing about this now is because it has been almost three years and I feel like I have perspective now. I’m realizing despite the struggle I learned so many things from The Gathering Table and I want to share a few with you.
Running a business is hard work. I basically did a crash course in business when I started The Gathering Table. I learned how to do taxes, apply for an LLC, get a business debit card, use QuickBooks, etc. It took so much trial and error to even get these things set up. I’m talking hours and hours and hours and this foundation of business knowledge has helped me in huge ways running my photography business now. It didn’t take me hours and hours to set this stuff up the second time around. I knew what to do and I felt confident in doing it too.
Do some research! I didn’t do much market research when I launched The Gathering Table. I really should have spent a lot more time and energy trying to figure out what the market wanted. I just guessed and wrongly assumed if I liked something then everyone would like it. Before launching my next big business venture, I spent months and months figuring out if people would be interested and how to best target these people.
I needed outside people to look at my business. I now have a business coach that helps me make decisions and figure out what is best for my business. She is outside of my world of Indianapolis friends and family. She gives me healthy perspective that only someone on the outside can give. You need someone who can look at your business without bias and give insight into what you’re doing.
The sale of retail goods is so hard! I have so much respect for people that are selling physical products. The postage, the post office, ordering products, all the things. I don’t think I could do it again.
I have learned a lot about self-forgiveness and self-love after having a business fail. It look me a really long time but I have finally forgiven myself. One of the biggest and most important things I have learned is that a lot of people fail. It is part of business for most people. Not every venture you put out into the world is going to be a hit. This is how we learn and grow. You have to have grit and you have to get back up again. I thought I would never try again, never put myself out there again, but I have learned that when you fall down, you get back up. You have to.
I just finished reading Everything is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo. She talks a lot about failure in it and one of the things she always tells herself is “I win or I learn, but I never lose.” This is where I will leave you my friends, you have to accept failure when it happens, learn from it, and move on.